AAA Backstage Archive

Q&A: Will Colven 'Hedge Fund'

Will from Hedge Fund has two loves, the girl he didn't kiss when he was 16, and Microsoft Songsmith. He's also an incredibly entertaining guy on and off stage. Have a read of our chat with him...

Hi! Thanks for talking to us. How did Hedge Fund start?

Hedge Fund started, basically, as an intervention. Nick and Miles and Mislav could see that something was wrong in my life, I was crying a lot, breaking down in public.
It came to a head when Mislav came over one day and found me lying in my dog’s kennel crying and staring at this picture of a girl I was obsessed with on Facebook. I’ve never been popular with girls, to be honest, apart from one girl who quite liked me when I was sixteen, but I fucked it up, I didn’t make a move and she lost interest. I’ve been single my whole life and I probably will be forever.
Mislav came in and I’d been lying in the kennel for sixteen hours and I was an absolute mess. This was in 2012. I’d never picked up a guitar or sung before but the boys gave me a copy of Microsoft Songsmith, which you sort of just like, hum into, and it makes songs come out.
So I hummed a few tunes and we played them and I started to feel better. I started to pull myself together. The music helps.

You've gigged quite a bit around Sydney, what's your favourite venue to play?

Definitely Jamhound James Booker’s backyard when we played Junkyard Festival. That, to me, is the perfect venue. Because there’s this nook next to the stairs that the drum-kit goes in and it’s really good if you need to have a cry after the show, you can sort of just slide in behind the kit and hide your face and have a really good cry. Being on stage is incredibly stressful for me, it absolutely tears me apart, and when I finish playing it’s basically imperative that I find somewhere relatively private to cry my eyes out.

Any stories from your live shows so far?  

At the Captain Cook Hotel last year I pulled my penis out during our last song. But it wasn’t really, it wasn’t really a very cool or exciting moment for me, it was more of a sad moment. It was a cry for help.
But the audience were convinced. It must have seemed very rock and roll to them. They went wild.
But I felt nothing but shame. 

‘Boyfriend’ was self-produced, did you find it difficult to wear both hats at the same time (artist/producer)? 

I find it very easy actually, because Microsoft Songsmith is a very intuitive, user-friendly program and it does most of the work for me.

You've said that 'Boyfriend' is about wanting to be a boy but having to be a man, what is the manliest thing you've ever done?

I’m not a tough guy. The manliest thing I’ve ever done was… I guess it was almost kissing that girl back when I was sixteen. But I fucked that up, so it doesn’t count, does it? God, I miss her. I’ve thought about her for the last nine years, every day. Every fucking day. 

Every song I’ve ever written is about her.

What's the bands song writing process?

We exclusively use Microsoft Songsmith to write all of our songs. It’s an astonishingly creative program.

What Aussie bands/artists are you loving at the moment? 

I love These New South Whales. Jamie, Will, Todd, Luke, those guys are the kind of men I wish I could be, but never will. They embody the comraderie, closeness, sensitivity and masculinity that I’ve always longed for but have never been able to and never will be able to achieve. They’re a really good band.

You site (the brilliant) Las Ketchup as an influence, do you have any other influences?


 I’m really influenced by the Ramones, Queens of the Stone Age, Joy Division, Blondie, Radiohead and Deep Sea Arcade. Usually what I’ll do is I’ll get a song by one of those bands, I’ll sing it and then I’ll try to sing it backwards, and then I’ll sing that into Microsoft Songsmith and it’ll give me the tune.

If you could go back to any era in musical history, which would it be?


 I would go back to the mid 2000’s. It was a great time, nu-metal was big, Dallas Crane were at the height of their popularity too, the Vines had just released their… look, I’m not going to lie. 

I don’t want to go back for the music. I want to go back there so I can tell my sixteen year old self to kiss that girl.


 You've hinted at a tour to celebrate 'Boyfriend', will the band be making its way to Brisbane?

On this tour we’re just planning to do Sydney, Newcastle and Melbourne. We’re hitting Brisbane on the next one though, I promise.

Apart from a tour, what's next for Hedge Fund?

Lots of stuff! Microsoft Songsmith has just released a really significant update that allows you to make music in lots of new styles so expect a big expansion in terms of our sound. I’m very excited about it.